*Time is fake. Bathrooms are a trap. Panic buttons don’t solve panic.* Let’s just call it like it is: the theme of this trip was **confusion**. Not mild, cute confusion—the full-blown *”What time is it, where am I, and why is everyone staring at me?”* type of confusion. Buckle up. It all started with a […]
Drug mules, freezing rain, and a lost-in-translation food order. Just another day in the air. This adventure takes us back to the frigid landscape of my most recent “I shouldn’t be here” work trip (see: freezing rain, icy car doors, and existential regret). But this time, the drama didn’t wait for the gate. It started […]
A defroster, a dose of darkness, and the rarest of travel anomalies: an early flight. Let me start by saying: I am not built for winter. Thirty years in Florida has softened me like a Publix sub left in a warm car. I enjoy the sun. I enjoy knowing my windshield won’t betray me with […]
A tale of mistaken identity, extreme cold, and existential lessons from a very cranky elder. It’s 6:00 a.m.I’m at Chicago Midway.It’s frozen-solid cold with the kind of wind that slaps you like it knows you personally. I return my rental car and ask the friendly (read: 1,000-year-old and 100% over-it) employee how to get to […]
Just when you think you’re in the clear… Florida says, “Hold my beer.” So here’s the headline:I had an uneventful flight to and from Ohio.Go ahead. Reread it. Take a moment. I’ll wait. Yes, you heard that right. No delays. No emergencies. No accidental entry into the wrong bathroom or cartel activity. Just smooth flying. […]