Let’s just call it like it is: the theme of this trip was **confusion**. Not mild, cute confusion—the full-blown *”What time is it, where am I, and why is everyone staring at me?”* type of confusion. Buckle up.
It all started with a simple time zone change. Normally not a big deal—your phone adjusts, your watch adjusts, **life moves on**. But what doesn’t auto-sync?
**My work laptop.**
So there I am, laptop open, confidently announcing to coworkers that I’m heading to lunch… at what I *thought* was 11:30. The looks I got? Somewhere between “Are you okay?” and “Did you time travel from 2006?”
Turns out—it was barely 10. ✌️
Fast forward to dinner. I head downtown, park in a garage, and… immediately forget two crucial details:
1. What level I parked on
2. **What car I’m driving** (because I’m approximately on rental car number 375,000 this year)
So I do what any seasoned, over-traveled adult does—I **hit the panic button** on the key fob. And I hear it! The honk of salvation! Except…
**It’s on another level.**
**AND.**
**Three other people were doing the *exact same thing*.**
We’re just standing there in a full-blown echo chamber of car horns, looking like the saddest flash mob in parking garage history.
Then comes the return flight chaos.
Seven—**seven**—flight change notifications due to weather. So I do the “responsible” thing and show up at the airport **four hours early**.
Why?
Because I trusted my cursed laptop clock again. You’d think I’d learn.
And then… just when I think I’ve survived the worst… I walk into the airport bathroom.
Only to immediately walk back out—because a woman walked out as I walked in.
“Oh no,” I think, “wrong side.”
So I go to the other side.
**AND IT HAPPENS AGAIN.**
Two wrong turns. Zero confidence left. I take a few steps back and finally see the signage:
– Arrows left for women
– Arrows right for men
– And a **giant sign that reads “Any Gender, Any Direction”**
So maybe I wasn’t wrong… just **outpaced by modern plumbing progress.**
And now here I sit, staring at a flight board, hoping my plane leaves in two hours. Or maybe three. I honestly have no idea anymore. What is time?
So if this is your first ATWC episode and you’re wondering how all this could possibly happen to one traveler… *welcome*.
If you’ve been here before… *you already know*.
Now if someone could just tell me where my gate is… and maybe what day it is… that’d be great.
