Dad: Erika the police are here to arrest you.
Me: that’s great, I’m taking a shit. What do you want?
Officer: I have a warrant
Me: cool
Dad: our neighbor got broke into and he needs the video footage.
Me: ok log in. You have the same password I do.
Dad: your computer or mine?
Me: well I don’t have a bra on and I’m still on the toilet I think yours would be best.
Officer: we don’t mind
Me: I bet you don’t lol
Dad: ok I got the video can you send it?
Me: hang on.
I really can’t make this shit up. This is really my life.
