User: I need to upgrade my company phone. Mine is slow and hangs up when trying to open applications. I can’t download email anymore. I’ve tried updating the iOS version but it doesn’t work. I need a new phone.
Me: You’re not upgrade eligible. Looking at the Mobile Device Management system I can see you’re out of space on the phone. Freeing up space would dramatically improve performance as well as allow you to begin sync’ing email again.
User: I can’t free up space. I need more storage.
Me: We can start be removing non-business critical applications and we can backup pictures and video to your company computer, iCloud, or simply delete them to make up space.
User: I don’t have any non-business critical applications on my phone.
Me: I understand you’d like to upgrade your phone, but being dishonest is not going to get you the desired outcome.
User: Did you just call me a liar?
Me: Yes.
*The user looks surprised that I wasn’t put on my heels*
User: WHAT?!
Me: *Calm as a cucumber* I can see every application installed on your company phone. I can assure you that NASCAR is not business critical, nor is bitmoji, snapchat, spotify, netflix etc.
At this point the user has devolved into some sort of over-the-phone rage beast.
User: WHO THE F$&# ARE YOU TO LOOK AT MY PERSONAL S#!% LIKE THIS? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ANY INFORMATION OFF MY PHONE… bla bla bla.
Me: *Calm as a cucumber* This is a company phone. When you took the phone you agreed to that you have no reasonable expectation of privacy and that any information contained on the phone is the IP of COMPANY. I’m not going to argue any of this; if you have any questions or concerns regarding company policy I will refer you to Company Legal and your local HR.
Regarding the Phone, you’re not upgrade eligible. My solution is to free up storage on the device. I’m happy to help you do that. Otherwise, I can only offer you a loaner device during the interim that may or may not function at 100% and may or may not be worse off than this device.
User: Let’s go ahead and free up some space on this phone.
